Flowless

Hey guys,

I know it’s been over a month since I’ve been around, and I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bear being here any more. I’ve lost my flow; I can’t seem to write anything proper down any more, so I decided to isolate myself a little, hoping it will come back in time. No luck so far.

The main reason I’m feeling so off is the job. I hate it. It’s so boring that it’s been killing me from the inside, turning me into some kind of zombie. Haven’t eaten any brains so far though, but who knows what lies ahead! Obviously, feeling like this isn’t helping anything in my personal life either. And if you can’t come home to something good after another awful day… Well, you can probably fill that in all by yourselves.

So here I am, stuck in a place I don’t want to be, both literally and figuratively.

I’ve been on the lookout for another job for a while now, but there isn’t all that much available that matches my qualifications. It’s all IT and marketing, and that’s really not my cup of tea. I guess I’ll just have to be patient, and hope my brain cells won’t die off by the time I find something else. But until then… Well, let me illustrate what’s happening to my brains currently:

Apoptosis & Necrosis

Yep, they are both being killed and killing themselves. Source: Stahl’s Essential Psychopharmacology. Neuroscientific Basis and Practical Applications – Third Edition – Written by Stephen M. Stahl.

This page is from a textbook I used during my final year of Biological and Cognitive Psychology, and it’s by far my favourite textbook of all time. Can you guess why?

Anyway… That’s all for now. I don’t know if I’ll be back any time soon, so let me finish this one by saying… I miss you guys.

Until… Whenever, if ever.

Love,

ML-X

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More Exciting News!

In all my excitement and nervous stress of last week, I totally forgot to tell you that another really exciting thing has happened. The day after I heard that I got the job, lovely fellow blogger (links to blog) and entrepreneur (links to site) Nicolette from L for Lazarus has asked me to write a guest piece for her blog. Of course, I said yes, and I’m really honoured and insanely excited to do so :) I still can’t believe that it’s been a week and I haven’t shared this with you!

It’s going to be a little fashion-related, but not in a “hey, look at what I wore today” kind of way. In fact, L for Lazarus’ charm is that it’s not an ordinary style/fashion blog, it’s got a focus on personality and inner beauty as well, which is really up my alley. Anyway, you should definitely check it out, with or without my guest piece :)

So… That’s all for now, I’ll definitely let you know when my piece is up!

Love,

ML-X

ML-X Will Be M.I.A.!

No, I’m not referring to the artist… I’ll be Missing In Action for a few days. Why? Well… I’m getting some surgery done. Always wanted to have bigger boobs, and now I have the time to get them done. Haha, just kidding! I’m getting my eyes fixed :) If everything goes well, I’ll finally be able to see clearly again when I wake up… It’s been 19 years since the last time! At least, if you don’t count the two times I forgot to take out my contacts… (And I was so sure a miracle had happened!)

Right now, I’m already scared shitless, but I still have three more days to go. I know, I know, I’m probably just being a pussy :P But hell, I’ve always been scared of doctor-related things. And don’t even get me started on the dentist! Ugh :( Now I haven’t had many encounters with doctors (luckily), but if I had to get blood drawn or whatever, I’d just close my eyes and ignore it. And that’s not quite an option while getting your eyes lasered! So I’m freaking out a bit… A huge bit!

I’ve been told that I’ll be really sensitive to light for a few days after the surgery, so it’s gonna be nearly impossible to write. I’ll try my best to have a few things ready for y’all, but I can’t promise anything :) Especially now that I’m pretty much obsessing over the surgery all the time.

So… Wish me luck, and if I can’t manage to do anything before the surgery, I’ll see you guys after! (Lame pun intended ;))

Love,

ML-X

WordPress: Wtf?

I love to play around with numbers. Statistics, math, you name it, I like it. Hence, you can probably already guess that I can count pretty well. But WordPress is confusing me right now. I checked my stats, and yesterday I had an x amount of views. But the published post had more likes yesterday than there were viewers. How the hell is this possible? I’m seriously starting to doubt myself here! Somebody please tell me if I’m losing my mind here (could be, I’ve spent a lot of time in the sun, boiled brains and all that)!

Love,

ML-X

P.S.: Thanks for all the reads, likes & follows… I can hardly believe people are actually enjoying my rants!

Writing: A Love Story – 2009

Writing is one of my hobbies, which I guess makes sense since I’ve decided to start blogging. True stories, fiction, poetry, songs, you name it, I’ve done it. And I’ve decided to share one of my stories with you.

A few years ago, when I was still in college, I had to do a practical in the dissection lab, which, together with the events following said practical, inspired me to write a little story;

“There he was, his hands coated in blue nitrile gloves. His appearance had something godlike. Lovingly, he touched the gyri of the set of brains he was holding. Despite the short rush of jealousy I felt -he was touching somebody else there- I smiled. He started amputating pieces of brain with the scalpel he took right from under my nose. Oh well, subtlety never was my thing anyway. I decided to use the knife that was left; a device of exceptional proportions, compared to which Excalibur was little more than a mere potato peeler.

Despite the cold in the dissecting room, I was warm, something that accumulated every time I looked at him. He plucked at some fibers in the cerebellum, while I was trying to find the amygdala. Again, my eyes fell on him, and then I knew: I love this man. I could have said it, I wanted to say it, but something stopped me. Instead, I simply mentioned that the slices of brain reminded me of kebab. “Charming”, I thought to myself. Despite having a huge knife in my hands, I felt weak. What was that scalpel manipulating god doing to me? Quickly, I dismissed that thought. It was probably just the formalin wafting through the room.

I tried to ignore this vague train of thought, and moved my focus to cutting myself a way to the hippocampus in my sagitally cut brain half. At the same time, I envisioned a wedding where, instead of cutting a cake, the bride and groom were cutting through a pair of brains. I had a hard time not bursting out in laughter, because in a weird, morbid way, this was romantic. Okay, so maybe the bright, unflattering TL lights replaced the candles, the wine was absent, and a fat man in a bloody lab coat was keeping an eye on us, but the feeling was still the same. This was love. In her finest form.”

Yes, this is entirely based on true events, although I’ve exaggerated a little for the sake of a good read ;) Despite the fact that the guy from the story and I have stopped loving each other a few years ago, it’s still one of my favourite stories.

I hope you’ve enjoyed, feel free to comment/bash/criticize/whatever :)

Love,

ML-X