Flowless

Hey guys,

I know it’s been over a month since I’ve been around, and I’m sorry. I just couldn’t bear being here any more. I’ve lost my flow; I can’t seem to write anything proper down any more, so I decided to isolate myself a little, hoping it will come back in time. No luck so far.

The main reason I’m feeling so off is the job. I hate it. It’s so boring that it’s been killing me from the inside, turning me into some kind of zombie. Haven’t eaten any brains so far though, but who knows what lies ahead! Obviously, feeling like this isn’t helping anything in my personal life either. And if you can’t come home to something good after another awful day… Well, you can probably fill that in all by yourselves.

So here I am, stuck in a place I don’t want to be, both literally and figuratively.

I’ve been on the lookout for another job for a while now, but there isn’t all that much available that matches my qualifications. It’s all IT and marketing, and that’s really not my cup of tea. I guess I’ll just have to be patient, and hope my brain cells won’t die off by the time I find something else. But until then… Well, let me illustrate what’s happening to my brains currently:

Apoptosis & Necrosis

Yep, they are both being killed and killing themselves. Source: Stahl’s Essential Psychopharmacology. Neuroscientific Basis and Practical Applications – Third Edition – Written by Stephen M. Stahl.

This page is from a textbook I used during my final year of Biological and Cognitive Psychology, and it’s by far my favourite textbook of all time. Can you guess why?

Anyway… That’s all for now. I don’t know if I’ll be back any time soon, so let me finish this one by saying… I miss you guys.

Until… Whenever, if ever.

Love,

ML-X

Jobhunt: Update II

I had my second job interview last week, and it went really well. The guy I had the interview with was a lot of fun and had a sense of humor, which I can really appreciate. So I really thought I might get invited to a second interview, he was going to call me Friday to let me know. Imagine my disappointment when he didn’t call. Not on Friday, not on Monday, hell, not even Tuesday.

So far, five days have gone by, and I haven’t heard from that company. But… I’m not sure if I really mind. I was so excited about that job, but it turned out to be a lot more “sales-y” and less “consultant-y” than I originally figured. Now I do have a lot of Sales experience, but pretty much only with so-called Key Accounts. And that job was more aimed in a cold acquisition kind of direction. Not my forte. At all.

I know, maybe I should give it a try and call them, but I have this ridiculous fear of… Failing. I can’t handle not being good at things! They have sales targets, but targets scare me, and I’m worried that that might make everything even worse. Ugh… I really don’t know what to do. I mean, the company in itself sounded like a lot of fun, and so did the $$$ but… I just don’t know.

So yesterday, I’ve spent a few hours jobhunting again, but this time online through employment agencies. One of them called me straight away, and I have an appointment at the agency in two hours. I’m not quite sure what to think of it though, because I kind of disliked the woman on the phone… Why? Because she implied it was a problem that my previous job (and the job I applied for) was entirely unrelated to my training. I don’t see how being well-educated (I have a bachelor’s degree) is a problem. Especially since I got that degree in one of the most “allround” useful courses there are around (if you don’t count my senior year specialization, that is).

I’m pretty curious if she’s as unlikeable in real life. I’ll try my best to make her understand my point of view though, because to me it really makes a lot of sense to do something that seems unrelated if you don’t think about it. But that’s enough ranting for now… I still have to get ready and dressed and everything.

Thanks again for reading! Any ideas/advice/comments/anything are very welcome :)

Love,

ML-X

Post-appointment edit: I was wrong about her! She was a great help, and a lot of fun :)

Crazy Dutchies: Part II

Our politicians have lost their minds. Supposedly, we need to cut back approximately 10 billion euros this year, on top of the cutbacks we’re already got. I guess that makes sense, if you (as a country) spend more than you actually have. I mean, just look at Greece and the shit they’re in these days. So fine, let’s cut back on a few things. Our politicians have already made a list of stuff to cut back on or make more money from:

1. Health Care
We used to have a really good health care system. Everybody over 18 used to pay an x-amount monthly, and in return, when they get ill, a lot of the expenses were covered. This system changed a little bit when I turned 18, with the main change being the monthly rate; it went up from around €40,- a month, to €100,- a month. On top of that, they decided that the “base insurance” was mandatory; everybody who didn’t have one, would get a fine. You did get to choose if you wanted any extra insurances, because the base one didn’t quite cover everything. You could also get some money back after a year if your expenses stayed under €250,- that year. In the years after that, the monthly rate went up and up and up while the base insurance covered less and less, and they even had a new idea: a mandatory “own risk” thing. The “own risk” was a kind of threshold; if you stayed under an x amount (it started around €120, and this year it’s €220), you had to pay most of your medical expenses yourself. Everything above that amount would be covered IF it was in your insurance kit. I guess this is “good” when your expenses are way over that threshold all the time, but I, for instance, spend maybe €60,- a year, if anything. So I pay €130 a month for a year, only to pay all my expenses myself anyway. Where’s the point in that? But it gets better: To make their cutbacks possible, they want to raise the “own risk” policy with another 25% next year. All in all, the mandatory insurances get more expensive, cover less, and when you’re not terminally ill you’re screwed. Way to go!

2. VAT (taxes)
Almost every country has a certain rate of VAT you pay over everything you buy. Here in the Netherlands, it’s either 6% (on food) or 19% (“luxury goods” like clothes and everything that’s not food). As if it’s not bad enough that 33%-52% of your well-earned salary goes to the tax administration office! And now they’re even thinking of raising the VAT rates! But wait, it gets even better…

3. Salaries
They want to freeze salaries! So combined with point #2 here, we’ll earn the same money, give the same amount to the tax administrations, and then give some more to them through VAT. What the fuck? Please do note that these ideas come from people who earn what, 300K yearly. If I had that amount of money, I wouldn’t mind freezing it either. The average yearly income for the rest of us is around €33.000 this year.

4. Mortgage
They’re bitching that the economy is so bad, that people hardly buy houses/apartments any more, but they want to skip the Mortgage Interest Deduction for everybody. The MID is a small amount (approximately €180 a month) you can get back from the tax administration office when you own a house/apartment. Despite being a small amount, it helps a lot of us; without it I wouldn’t be able to pay my bills, and a lot of people with me. And now they want to quit it. How can they expect that the rate of home sales can ever rise again? Sure, for people who have 50K houses it doesn’t matter, but again, what about the rest of us?

5. Education
The Netherlands were a pretty good country, educationwise. The government would cover an x amount of schooling money, leaving us with “only” a yearly fee of between €800 and €1700. This way, everybody who wanted to go to college, could do just that. Imagine all the possible benefits coming from us being super educated! But noooo… They’re cutting back on that as well. Partly, I understand: If you seriously need 5+ years to finish a 4-year college program, you’re stupid and wasting money anyway. But if you’re smart and super motivated and want to do another college course, you shouldn’t get screwed by having to pay €10.000 yearly to do that.

Days like this, I wish I was a politician. What I would do?

1. Cut back on politicians’ salaries. They don’t need 300K if the rest of us can manage with a lot less.
2. Take away the MID for houses over 4K. Again, a lot of us don’t even own a house that expensive.
3. Don’t buy the Joint Strike Fighter. We don’t need it. Hell, we don’t even have room for it.
4. Invest less in warfare.
5. Encourage education (within limits). Knowledge is power for a reason.

Anyway… Enough for today. Thanks for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed part II of this series.

Love,

ML-X