Song Of The Day: Tool – Aenema

I had hoped to have a few really awesome picture-overdose posts for you guys, but unfortunately the camera and I couldn’t really get along and I had to return it. There’s a replacement coming in soon, but until then I’m just gonna stick to “the usual” ;) So today it’s time for another Song Of The Day;


I only “discovered” Tool 3 or 4 years ago, but it’s been love at first… Ear, I guess. Hypnotizing music, wonderful voice, amazing lyrics… I guess there’s hardly anything not to love, although honestly, the videos tend to freak me out a little.

It’s been pretty hard to pick a song for today, but I decided on Aenema because of this small part of the lyrics in particular:


Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car

It’s a
Bullshit
Three ring
Circus sideshow of
Freaks

We (as in, people in general) really tend to fret about bullshit. It’s ridiculous, don’t you think? I spent half of my day today being annoyed over a few freakin’ split ends! I mean… What the hell.

This song (and again, those lyrics in particular) has actually inspired me to write one of my first posts ever. Reading it back I find that it’s pretty silly how my self-consciousness has changed compared to when I wrote it. I guess it’s all those stick figures I’m working with these days! Damn.

Anyway… This isn’t supposed to turn into a rant about how fat I feel and what condition my hair is in, so let’s just get back to the subject. Right… Awesome song, awesome lyrics.

What do you think of the song and/or lyrics? And what are the silly things you fret about?

Thanks so much for reading and listening, I hope you’ve enjoyed!

Love,

ML-X

The Wonders Of Nature

I will keep it short today, because I firmly believe that a picture says more than a thousand words. There is not a moral to this post, I only wanted to share with you what I thought was a beautiful wonder of nature:

A rose is a rose is a rose… Wait, what?!

For those of you who aren’t familiar with this sight; this is what you get when you chop the root off of a crop of paksoi/bok choy. Not only is this veggie delicious and healthy, but it’s a bit of a feast for the eye as well :)

Don’t you just love it when nature plays small jokes like this? I know I do! And this particular one always makes me smile somehow.

Thanks for stopping by!

Love,

ML-X

 

Summer’s Not Always Fun

I know, technically it’s not summer yet, but the last few days it’s been pretty hot around here, and as a result, a lot of people decided to take their clothes off. Or come out from underneath the rock where they spend the remaining three seasons of the year.

I have a couple of… Anti-fetishes. I’m not sure if that word actually exists, but it’s supposed to be the complete opposite of a fetish. So instead of something turning me on, it turns me off so badly that I want to throw up/cry/run away as fast as I can. One of my anti-fetishes has always been feet. I’ve disliked those things for as long as I can remember, without any apparent reason. I even couldn’t handle anyone touching my feet. As time went by this dislike shifted from all feet to “only” ugly feet, but I still stress out a little when somebody touches mine. I still don’t like to have them near me; an old boyfriend of mine used to cross them when we would have dinner sitting on the couch, so they’d almost be on my plate. It’s safe to say he’s lucky that I didn’t chop them off (as am I for not starving, because it was impossible to eat anything after the numerous foot-on-plate episodes. Makes for a great diet though!).

Feet fetishists truly are a folk that I’ll never understand. Just to be clear; there’s a lot of people out there who have “pretty” feet. Feet that look… Taken care of, and neat. But there’s just so many people out there with gross feet, and they don’t give a rat’s ass and put sandals and slippers on when the temperature gets even remotely summery. Why do they want to torment others by showing off their nibbled-on icky toes? FFS, put some boots on, please! And stop trying to eat your feet!

Another disgusting foot issue that I can’t handle are long toenails. Yep. As much as I dislike too long fingernails (especially on men, or when it’s just a pinky nail to help that coke up your nostrils), long toenails are even nastier. Did I miss some kind of fashion statement or something? Or did all the nail clippers in the world magically disappear, forcing people to have their toenails floor-length and curly? Seriously? I’ve been toying with the idea that it might be a cultural thing, seeing it’s mostly ladies of an ehm… Darker persuasion who carry these monstrous things on their feet. But when I was trying to decide if I’d delight you with some pictures to illustrate my point, I came upon something way more unexpected: people get turned on by this shit.

Obviously this post is without pictures and that’s because, my dear readers, I appreciate you too much to try and traumatize you. The floor-length toenails you may encounter on a daily basis are just the tip of the iceberg. But for me, what has been seen cannot be un-seen. So if you may hear about victims of some chick on a crazy toenail hunt with hedge shears, it’ll probably be me. ;)

Thanks for reading!

Love,

ML-X

What Goes Up…

…Must come down. And it did. Not too long after my previous post, everything simply collapsed. I went over to my folks’ to help out with the painting, and le man came over to lend a hand too. Everything was perfectly fine, up until the part when he got horrendously ill out of the blue. It was awful. I saw the strong man that I’ve known for so long now turn into… A mess of nothingness. And I couldn’t do anything about it.

My parents figured it might have something to do with the fumes of the paint or the cleaning solution we’d used the day before (it had gotten me sick the last time as well) so I made him some chamomile tea, and just sat with him. He could hardly keep his eyes open, and I couldn’t handle it. I hated myself for not being able to make him better, and I was scared. So scared that when he finally managed to fall asleep, I checked up on him every five minutes to see if he was still breathing. Just in case.

The time I didn’t spend with him, I didn’t spend helping out my parents either, making me feel even more useless than I already did. Especially when my mom decided to help out instead of me; she’s got some health issues of her own, but she’s insanely stubborn and simply refused to get off the ladder and give me my paintbrush back.

After le man woke up I tried to feed him a little but he threw up the bit of cucumber he managed to shove down his throat almost immediately. So we “hung out” in the bathroom, and seeing him hugging the toilet with one hand and holding mine with his other just broke my heart. For fuck’s sake, why couldn’t I fix this?! I know, I might be a little irrational but I just wanted to make everything OK again. But I couldn’t, so I just had to wait until it fixed itself. And it did, a little at least. An hour or so after our “toilet date”, he finally started to feel somewhat better, and I silently thanked “the powers that be”.

During the day that followed he was getting better little by little, and yesterday he was feeling good enough to go back home. The paint job at my parents’ turned out great, it’s a light, minty green now and I kinda wish I’d thought of it when I was moving in here, because the sensitivity of my white walls is driving me insane! But I’ll manage; cleaning a wall isn’t nearly as awful as the  last two days have been.

One of the worst side effects from this episode is the fact that it got me thinking… I couldn’t handle not being able to help, so what if I have children later on in life and they get sick? And I’m not talking about heavy stuff like this, it’s just that I’m pretty sure I couldn’t handle my child(ren) having a freakin’ cold and me being unable to help them. It’s gotten me to doubt my abilities as a mother, and that’s hard for me. But maybe I just wasn’t meant to be one.

I apologize for the long rant, I just really needed to get it out of my system for a while. Thank you for reading, and until next time.

Love,

ML-X

I Wear My Sunglasses At Night!

Last Tuesday was the day; Surgery Day to be exact. And oh boy, I was not looking forward to it at all. Better yet, I spent the last few days before the surgery being scared shitless. There wasn’t any real reason for it, it’s just that I’m a total wuss when it comes to doctors and everything that’s related. It’s quite sad, actually.

After finishing my ususal morning routine, it was time to go. The clinic’s in Rotterdam, so mom and dad picked me up early to avoid the morning traffic jam. Once in the car, my best friend (who had laser surgery done three years ago) called to tell me everything was going to be okay. Not that it helped; the closer we got, the more I started to tremble. I was even hoping they’d decide that my eyes weren’t suitable for the surgery after all. But of course, I wouldn’t be that lucky. After taking a “wrong” exit I had some hope again though; we were lost! Unfortunately, daddy’s a living navigation device, so we still made it in time. By the time we arrived at the clinic, I was shaking so hard, one would think I was a heroin addict going cold turkey. First, a checkup was to be done by the opthalmologist, who told me I could bring one of my parents along to the surgery rooms. I picked my dad, because mom was freaking out almost as much as I was. Although I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea; dad tends to get mad and yell at me when I fuck up (tough love ;)), and I had the feeling I would do just that!

In the pre-surgery waiting room, where three other patients were waiting, we had to put on paper scrubs, shoe covers and surgery hats. I’d already taken off my glasses, but I could still see that I was the only one who brought somebody in there with me. Then again, I was the youngest there, so I had a good excuse to do so. Then one of the surgeons came in, to tell us that it’s really important to be really quiet and still during the first part (she actually called it the “hard part”) of the surgery. She explained what was going to happen; first, they had to make the corneal flap. In my case, the surgery style was IntraLASIK, meaning that there weren’t any knives involved. Instead, we’d get a plastic thingy of some sorts in our eye, which was supposed to vacuum seal itself to the eyeball. After that, the femtosecond laser microkeratome would create the right flap. If any movement would occur, the vacuum would disappear, which meant they would have to start over again. And if you messed up multiple times, they would have to do something else, but she wouldn’t tell us the details.

Obviously, I was still pretty sure I would fuck this up, especially after dad told me that I was the only one who was startled every time the nurse gave us eye drops. Thanks, dad! I really needed to know that… A little after the doctor left, two other people came into the waiting room, and it turned out I wasn’t the only one being chaperoned! That made me feel a little bit better (or a little less of a loser), but I was still scared to death. And then… They called my name, and my heart stopped beating for a short while. Upon leaving the waiting room, they handed me this little sweetheart:

The Surgery Bear!

How can you still be scared after seeing this guy?

Crazy as it sounds, that little bear made me feel so much more relaxed! So I went into the surgery room, laid down really still and squeezed the lady doctor’s hand and the bear almost to death. The lady doc was telling me exactly what they were doing, and how much longer it would take. A little under two mintues later, the first part was done. And I didn’t mess up! Hell, I didn’t even feel a thing. The nurse took me back to the waiting room, where my chaperoned colleague was still waiting for his turn. He was even more scared than I was, so I told him it was a super piece of cake, and that he would be fine. Then it was time for the next step; the refraction surgery itself. I had to go into another room and lie down again, while the surgeon placed a sticky mask all over my face. He had to move it around a little, so I asked him if they were going to epilate my face as well. He laughed, and said I’d get a free facial peeling. After the mask was in place, I was supposed to lay still and look at the green light. This wasn’t quite as easy as it seemed, because the surgeon had to open up the corneal flap, and at that point the green light is pretty much dancing all over the place. Luckily, after opening the flap, the light stopped moving and I was able to focus again. The light then turned red and orange-y, I smelled something burning, and 30 seconds later the surgeon was putting the flap back in place. The same procedure was repeated on my other eye, I got some more eye drops, and then it was all done. And I have to say, the most awful part of the entire surgery was when the surgeon took the sticky mask off my face! I got up, blinked a few times, and it was insane how much I could already see.

After the surgery, we had to wait for another hour until the first checkup. Everything was fine, and the anesthesia was starting to wear off, which was a little bit uncomfortable but nothing big. The most awful thing after that was my light sensitivity; I was already wearing sunglasses but outside was still too bright, so I had to wrap my scarf around my head to make it stop hurting. When I got home, the curtains were drawn but the “light” still hurt my eyes, so I kept the sunglasses on. Gradually, it got better and better, and at the end of the evening I was watching soccer again. My best friend came by the same evening, and he was flabbergasted that I was walking around pretty much like nothing happened; he had spent three days in bed in utter darkness after his surgery! Then again, he didn’t have IntraLASIK but another form of refractive surgery, with a longer recovery time.

All in all, I can almost say that the surgery was an anticlimax. I spent almost a whole week freaking out, and in the end it turned out that it wasn’t necessary at all! I do have to say that there were a few factors that made it all the easier; of course there’s daddy’s company (and the bear), but I also felt very comfortable with the staff and surgeons. The entire medical staff was so nice and friendly, that it was hard to believe that they were going to do something that would hurt. So, if you’re considering getting refractive surgery, I had it done at VISUS Oogkliniek in Rotterdam, and I’m super happy that I did it there. I promise, they didn’t pay me to recommend them (although I did get some “€100 off” vouchers to hand out), but I know how scary refractive surgery seems, and now I also know you’re in really good hands at this clinic!

It’s been four days now since I had it done, and my vision has been almost perfect the same evening. I can still notice that it’s getting better by the day; yesterday I could finally read the microwave clock display! It’s truly amazing to be able to see again, all the time, without having to screw around with contacts/glasses. I couldn’t be happier.

I hope I haven’t tired you out with this ridiculously long post, and I hope this story has been of some amusement or help to you! Thanks for reading!

Love,

ML-X

P.S.: If you’re interested in a voucher, let me know. I’d be happy to help!

ML-X Will Be M.I.A.!

No, I’m not referring to the artist… I’ll be Missing In Action for a few days. Why? Well… I’m getting some surgery done. Always wanted to have bigger boobs, and now I have the time to get them done. Haha, just kidding! I’m getting my eyes fixed :) If everything goes well, I’ll finally be able to see clearly again when I wake up… It’s been 19 years since the last time! At least, if you don’t count the two times I forgot to take out my contacts… (And I was so sure a miracle had happened!)

Right now, I’m already scared shitless, but I still have three more days to go. I know, I know, I’m probably just being a pussy :P But hell, I’ve always been scared of doctor-related things. And don’t even get me started on the dentist! Ugh :( Now I haven’t had many encounters with doctors (luckily), but if I had to get blood drawn or whatever, I’d just close my eyes and ignore it. And that’s not quite an option while getting your eyes lasered! So I’m freaking out a bit… A huge bit!

I’ve been told that I’ll be really sensitive to light for a few days after the surgery, so it’s gonna be nearly impossible to write. I’ll try my best to have a few things ready for y’all, but I can’t promise anything :) Especially now that I’m pretty much obsessing over the surgery all the time.

So… Wish me luck, and if I can’t manage to do anything before the surgery, I’ll see you guys after! (Lame pun intended ;))

Love,

ML-X

Newsflash: Chocolate Makes You Skinny!

Being an avid chocolate lover, you can imagine my surprise (and sheer delight) upon reading in the paper this morning that American scientists have discovered that eating chocolate seems to have huge dietary benefits. In other words; it doesn’t necessarily make you fat, it can even make you skinnier!

Delicious! And good for you as well!

In short, a couple of scientists from the University of California, San Diego, conducted a research, where they found that the subjects who ate chocolate had lower BMI’s, despite having a higher calorie intake. The scientists state that moderate chocolate intake leads to a lessened uptake of fat, which compensates for the extra calories. Of course, this counts for moderate chocolate eating only, so don’t even think of getting super slim by eating 200g bars at a time ;) You can find (an excerpt of) the article on the Archives of Internal Medicine website. It’s gotten me super curious, so I’m gonna try to get my hands on the entire article. Tips and suggestions are very welcome; I’ve lost all of my access to medical journals etc. after leaving Uni and I don’t feel like coughing up $30 for this article :( Better to spend it on chocolate!

But seriously, is that good news or what? It surely has made my day! So thank you, dear scientists from the University of California. I think your findings will make a lot of us very, very happy!

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

Love,

ML-X

Blinded By The Light – A Day At The Optometrist’s

Since early in my childhood I’ve had a problem with my eye sight. I couldn’t see shit unless I pretty much stood on top of it, so I had to wear glasses. Which is -by the way- a great combo with being overweight and foreign. Way back then, of course, it wasn’t as bad as it got later on, but I didn’t do me any good. The thing I remember most was my teacher placing me in the front row after I got my glasses, and me thinking “What the fuck, I can see now so what the hell are you doing?”, albeit in a way more suitable for a six-year-old ;) Yeah, even at that age, sitting in front row was not good for your popularity, haha.

One of the consequences of being part-time blind is the yearly check-up at the optometrist’s. Apart from the fact that mine always has a delay of at least two hours, they’re not that big a deal. But every once in a while, they do special tests, which I just can’t handle in a normal way:

1. The eyeball pressure test. This one is always the same for me, starting by the doc’s instructions: “Look into the green light. A small puff of air will be blown into your eye to measure your eye pressure. Don’t get startled.” Well guess what? I get startled by that puff every freakin’ time. And not just a little bit, noooo… The last time, I bumped my forehead into the machine so hard, it left a bruise. I guess I just never see those puffs coming – lame pun intended :)

2. Pupil dilation something something. After all these years, I still don’t have a clue what that test is for. I guess the test isn’t as much a problem, it’s more about the aftermath: LSD eyes! Those damn drops make my pupils look like saucers, and they never seem to wear off. So I can’t see shit with my glasses on any more, but taking them off doesn’t do any good either. A lose-lose situation at its finest. In fact, this very post was written blindly on a real notepad, because otherwise I had to put my head in my monitor.

The examination I hate most though, is a regular: The phoropter test. For all of you who don’t know what a phoropter is, here’s a pic;

The phoropter. It kinda looks like it sounds. Scary and dinosaur.

They switch the lenses in the phoropter, and you have to look at a chart and tell them what works best for you: “Is this clearer?” *switch* “Or this one?” And I’m always like, “Uhhhm…”, “Okay, let’s repeat”. I don’t know what’s up with that, but sometimes I JUST DON’T KNOW! I don’t know if it’s possible to give a wrong answer, but I sure as hell feel like every one I give is just. Plain. Wrong. They have a way of making this feel like an IQ test instead of an eye examination. I did happen to stumble across a way to make this examination at least a bit more fun; a personalized eye chart. I should get one of those for my optometrist :)

Thanks for reading, I hope you’ve enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

Love,

ML-X

Annoyances: Part I – Every Day I’m Dieting

First off, I want to start by letting you know that I don’t have anyting against dieting in general. It’s a good thing to be aware of what you eat and how you treat your body. But please… Do that shit in private.

Personally, I love food, and I can really enjoy a good meal. So that’s what I do, unlike 90% of the people I talk to. It seems like everybody is so focused on calories and “light” products, it’s turning them into brainless zombies. Again, it’s all fine, until they start bothering me with it.

There’s one person in particular that has a special talent for doing exactly that. She’s very proud of her dieting, and sure, she’s lost some weight. Good for her. But it’s common knowledge that the weight loss is gonna slow down eventually, and you’ll have to work harder to lose more weight. Oh, and it does come in handy to keep watching what you eat after losing that weight. I guess you already see the next part coming… She doesn’t. Well, actually, “she doesn’t” isn’t exactly true, because she does, but I have a feeling that she just isn’t getting the point.

An example; she’s eating some high fiber cereals with yoghurt and dried fruits. Sounds pretty low calorie but saturating, right? Sure. But is it really still that healthy when you add half a pint of  sweetener to it? I wouldn’t say so.

Another one; after the super sweetened cereals, she remains hungry and eats one or two sandwiches, which again isn’t that big of a deal because there’s a lot of diet products out there that you could put on a sandwich; diet cream cheese, diet margarine, whatever you like, there’s a diet version of it. But what does she do? She makes a sandwich LAYERING diet products. Now I know, some things are better when layered, but I’m talking about some seriously unnecessary layering here. Who layers diet ham, diet cream cheese and diet margarine? I mean, seriously, what the fuck? You just tripled your calorie intake, idiot! And you’re complaining that you aren’t losing any weight or even just gaining more? Well, big surprise there!

To me, this is a classic example of “Hey, you’re doing it wrong!”, and I swear, sometimes I just want to slap her for being so stupid. But I don’t… Instead, I enjoy my own yummy food and my full fat Coke, knowing that I’ve found my perfect balance between healthy and tasty, and most importantly, I’m finally happy with who I am and what I look like.

I do want to add a side note, because I feel no-one can ever say it enough times; please be happy with who you are, and only change what YOU don’t like about yourself, and not what society thinks you should change. I promise, in the end you’ll see it was the best thing to do. :)

Thanks for reading, I hope I managed to make at least somebody smile.

Love,

ML-X