All Work And No Play

Well… I guess that’s not entirely true. Somewhere between (still getting used to) work and football, I just can’t seem to manage to write anything down these days. Despite getting off of work pretty early, I’m entirely beat when I come home, and inspiration is very hard to find. I’m hoping it’s just temporary, but I’ve toyed with the thought to give up the blog entirely.

Work in itself is fun though, and all of the foreseen problems haven’t come up (yet). In fact, I’ve even noticed that I like R., as opposed to… Well, the rest of the company. And the chick-with-the-stick has been quite okay as well.

All in all, I don’t have anything to complain (yet, haha), apart from the fact that I don’t have the mind to hang out here. And it’s not just the not writing part, but I also haven’t been reading on a daily basis. In fact, I haven’t been reading since last Sunday! My daily routine is now “get up, coffee, go to work, work, go home, eat (or not), couch yoga, sleep”, and I feel like I’m a hundred years old. I do hope it will pass soon, but until it does (or until I decide to call it quits) I hope you’ll be patient with me and my “weekends only” here.

Until then, and if nothing else, thanks for the last few months.

Love,

ML-X

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A New Beginning

So… Today was my second day at my new job. And I have to say, so far, I’m enjoying it! The first day was pretty standard; meeting everybody and failing at remembering all the names and departments, getting a small tour through the company and all that. Hell, I didn’t even have a desk or PC for myself yet! In fact, they didn’t quite know what they were going to do with me, so I spent the rest of the day just looking at what another girl was doing. Today, however, was much better; I started early (7:30am), confiscated a desk/PC combo for myself and simply… Worked. Did I master what the part-time receptionist girls have been working on for the last month in just one day? Yes, I did. Yay me!

To be honest, I had expected to have a hard time learning to work with their system. I’ve worked with two different ones in my previous job, so I’ve got the basics, but I didn’t expect to encounter anything like their system: the supermegaoldschool, IBM’s MS-DOS inspired AS/400! I couldn’t believe my eyes. Goodbye tabs, goodbye overview, goodbye interpunction, goodbye colours, and hello black-and-green blast from the past. Hey, the 80’s called…

But like everything else, even this oldfashioned thing has its pro’s: the functionality is so limited, that it’s actually pretty hard to fuck something up! So I guess that’s a good thing :) Plus, the damn thing has a “reset” button. Probably just because that old stuff crashes way too much, but it’s still kind of awesome.

As for my colleagues… Well, the fifties called for most of them, if you catch my drift… But they’re fun, don’t take themselves too seriously, and of course I’m impressed by the ridiculous amounts of knowledge most of them have. So all good! Even the “downstairs” girls are okay, except for one, but she’ll have to take that stick out of her ass by herself. I’m there to work and learn, not to make friends.

Today, I did learn why people might dislike R.. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a nice enough guy, but seriously, I get it. After I kinda figured out their system wasn’t up to date at all (being based on, for example, purchase prices from 2005!), I proposed to enter all the new prices that we got from orderconfirmations, so that at least those things wouldn’t make a mess any more. He then spent two hours telling me exactly the same. He could have just agreed, but nooo, that would be too easy. So instead, despite telling me numerous times already that he hardly has time for his own work, he wastes more time telling me what I already know. But I’ll just keep listening, because I’ve already figured out yesterday that he knows *a lot*. And he’s willing to show me, even if it’s none of my concerns. So as long as he keeps feeding my hunger for knowledge, I’ll play along.

In short, I’m having a good time over there. And I think there’s a good chance that I’d like to spend a few years there. There is one little downside though; I’ve been “out of rhythm” for a while now, so by the time I get home, I’m dog tired! So I’m off to do some couch yoga now, but I’ll try to write (and read) as much as I can nevertheless :)

Thanks for sticking with me!

Love,

ML-X

Expect The Expected

So… Yesterday was supposed to be another “D-Day” kind of thing for me. I should’ve known better. I received a text from him telling me he’s having a flu and that we should give it another try next week. Normally, that wouldn’t have been such a big deal, right? Unless… You’ve known this man for 3 years, and have seen him do exactly that to other people all the time. Sure, he might have been sick for real, but to me it sounds like somebody is crying wolf.

I already had a bad feeling about the whole meeting up thing, and I wasn’t the only one. Le man didn’t think I was being paranoid, and my best friend even called me a derp after hearing I was to meet up with him, and told me it would’ve ended badly. (I love you too!) So on the one hand, I was kind of relieved he canceled. But on the other hand, I’m extremely pissed off  that he’s still trying to play his shitty games with me. As if it wasn’t bad enough he made me feel like a criminal.

Right now, I’m in a huge dilemma. I can play nice, pretend it’s all good and give it another go next week, because he might be able to land me a job at some of the firms I’ve worked with the past couple of years. I’ve seen him do it before, albeit with girls he’s slept with. But I can also tell him that he can “strategically place his lips upon my posterior and kiss it repeatedly”*. You’ve probably guessed that this option appeals to me a little more, for the time being. Then again, if I go for option #2, I might not get the job reference I need, which will make it even harder to find something new.

I’m going to have to give this a lot of thought. What would you do if you were in my place? Be nice and wise, or tell him to take a hike?

Thanks for reading, despite my not-so-fun kind of moods!

Love,

ML-X

*Quote is a slightly edited version from the movie Dark Shadows.

It’s All Over Now…

Sooo… Yesterday was “D-Day”; my last day at work. I think it was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever done! After spending pretty much the whole weekend contemplating on what I was gonna say, the “moment of revelation” was finally there… And what a disappointment it was! Actually, I think disappointment isn’t quite the right word, it was more of an anticlimax. I probably got worked up too much about it; my stomach was pretending to be a rollercoaster all day, but in the end I didn’t even cry. Still trying to figure out how I managed that!

And today, it’s all over. It feels weird. But it feels good at the same time. I’m even a bit proud of myself for the way it went; my dad has taught me to “not slam the door behind me” (although literally translated he actually said “don’t close the door with your ass”, but that’s not really poetic now, is it?), and I didn’t. I didn’t cry either. I said everything I meant to say, said goodbye to pretty much everybody, and told the few “special ones” that we’ll keep in touch.

In a way, it’s not that much different from breaking up after a long relationship (apart from the fact that it was a friendly break-up, not really my specialty). Maybe that’s why I don’t really feel anything; maybe it needs to kick in first. We’ll see about that later, but right now, another door has opened, so I’m gonna see if I’ll get in… But more on that another time.

Thanks for reading, and sticking with me during my not-so-amusing-emo-times!

Love,

ML-X

Goodbyes Are Not My Thing

As you’ve already read in my karma post, I’ve been on the lookout for another job. There were several reasons for that, but the main reason was a “trust-thing” that I just missed at my current job. Things changed, and I felt out of place at my current job. I was almost due to get a new contract for an indefinite period, but I didn’t think it was going to happen. And yesterday something happened that seemed to confirm that suspicion. Since I’d been miserable for quite a few weeks now (coming home from work in tears and all that shit), I decided to step the fuck up and go to one of my bosses to see what the fuck was going on.

I’m still not sure how to describe what happened next. We talked for quite a while, and it turned out that my suspicion was in place. I could’ve gotten mad, I guess, but I didn’t feel anything like that. I was happy that I finally knew what would happen. And at the same time, I was sad because despite everything that had happened in the last few months, I love that company, and before that I’d always expected to maybe stay there “forever”. My boss offered me time off until the end of my contract, so that I would have enough time on finding a new job, which I really appreciated. Now I do have to say, I have seen people come and go all the time, but never like this. They usually get kicked out, brutally, and then we go on like they never even existed in the first place. But not me.

I think the best way to define yesterday’s conversation was “happy-sad”. My boss was great, and there was no hostility between us whatsoever; we even had some laughs. The last few months didn’t wipe out everything I’ve been doing there for the last three years, she told me, as well as that this has been one of the hardest decisions she’s ever made. That felt good. I didn’t tell her about the new company though, just in case (and I still have to go there, they moved the appointment). In the end, we’ve decided that Monday is going to be my last day. She asked me if I wanted to say goodbye to everybody, and I said yes. I can’t just get the fuck out of there like nothing has happened. But I hate goodbyes. I already know that I’m gonna cry like a little baby; I’ve met some wonderful people there, which I’m going to miss a lot. And hell, I’m even gonna miss the director’s random-ass yelling (he’s a bit of a loud mouth, and this is an understatement). Can you imagine?

In a way, I’m looking forward to Monday, because it’s going to be a happy ending. But I’m really obsessing about what I’m going to say. I hope I’ll manage to be the “clown-me” they’re used to. If nothing else, I’ll just make a huge (belated) April Fool’s joke of it. So… Wish me luck. I’ll let you know how it went.

Love,

ML-X